Giving advice 101- The difficult truth to consider

Little lessons I am learning myself🤗

1- One of the first things to consider is that ~~It is not about you!

By removing yourself from the equation, you instantly become a better listener. Often times, being a good listener is all the comfort a friend needs--- not your words.

2- Keep your judgements to yourself!

More than likely you have made plenty of mistakes in the past. Learn to humble yourself with those reminders and memories so that you don’t come off as the “I know best” friend----No one wants that friend! Instead of providing direct advice, sometimes it’s okay to share a short story, I repeat a SHORT story of something similar that happened to you, that way you maybe able to help indirectly.

3- What you are being told is just a part of the whole story.

Sometimes people don’t like to discuss the grander of their situation so they share bits and pieces. It is your job to not jump into conclusion, but instead listen with a “beginner’s ear” and practice tentativeness. My friend Shaina is taught how to be tentative when giving advice. whenever I ask for her advice on situations, before giving me her feedback, she always uses phrases like “I am not sure, but maybe….” or “I may be wrong, but maybe you should….”. It’s her way of letting me know that she’s not taking an expert stance but she may be able to help. You’d be surprise how effective those words are.

4- Validate people’s feelings, no matter how big or small their concerns are.

It is so frustrating when people downplay my feelings with phrases like “it’s not that serious” or “calm down”. Comments like that can make people feel small sometimes so be mindful. Showing empathy with the person’s circumstances will go a long way.

P.S Sometimes listening is the best advice 😉

Now go ahead and be the amazing friend/confident you truly are.

Comment your thoughts bellow ⬇

Xoxo

Stephanie Taïna